a young woman's experience with anxiety

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i went on my first date ever recently.

i fell in love once, and it was both hilarious and heartbreaking. I’ve been pursued by others since, but I didn’t have that love-at-first-sight feeling that I was spoiled by the first time around and just wasn’t interested.

I was introduced to the son of my mother’s friend/coworker a few days ago. We have a lot in common, and are on similar wavelengths. We met two days before he left and we met up on both those days. The first day I was fine, the second day, my anxiety was getting to me.

I was nervous. Wondering things like… is he gonna put his arm around me? Or, are we supposed to be, like, making out at this point? lol. Well, none of that happened. And towards the end of the night we both loosened up and goofed off a little. Almost like both of us were relieved it was over. Weird. O_O

It was nice to go out with someone and just talk about stuff and they kinda understand where you’re coming from. It was neat and it made me feel good and happy and human.

But that’s another one of my goals for lucky ’13. Being less shy and anxious in intimate settings. Or, accepting that I get shy and anxious in intimate settings. Maybe that’s a better way to put it?

And I’ve paid for my driver’s lessons…now just waiting to schedule the days! Cool. 🙂

One thing I’ve learned is…it’s always good to do things that scare you every once in awhile. It could be a little, baby goal. Or a big, public display. Just take a chance…and be proud of yourself for trying to do better. Anxiety has stopped me before, but I really am working on not letting it stop me from doing things now. We’re all works in progress.

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