a young woman's experience with anxiety

Archive for January, 2013

Aside

tip for obsessive thoughts.

Imageone way to effectively deal with obsessive, persistent thoughts is to just let them be there; notice them without engaging them.

let me just say that that is one of the hardest things in the world to do.

despite doing pretty well lately, i had a not so great day today. the kinda day where you wake up and you just don’t feel so great.

anyway, so i had a moment where i was just so fed up with my mind going back and forth, i was ready to freak out from sheer aggravation. but, in the midst of my frustration, i got distracted by a funny moment on “roseanne” (i love that show. yes, i watch re-runs. lol). i ended up watching the whole scene, then the whole episode, then i finally just sat back and gave into the entire marathon that was on.

i just chose to enjoy the show despite my mind doing its whirring and swirling and its other typical crap. i realized that worrying is not the solution…it hasn’t helped in the past and it’s not going to help now.

so, i just pictured my mind as a conveyor belt. with all types of packages filled with worries and scary thoughts, all traveling down the belt. and instead of picking up a package and opening it, i acknowledge it and i just let it keep on going down the belt. you’re essentially just sitting there, letting the thoughts be there without figuring them out.

worries were darting in and out, especially during commercials, but i just stuck to the plan. if you try this technique, don’t be surprised if your worries multiply at first. practice, practice, practice, my friend. in time it will get easier.

for more tips or refreshers on how to deal with anxiety, this link helped me out today.

be well <3,

anxietyflower

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love in the time of anxiety.

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© PicturePerfectGallery.net

i went on my first date ever recently.

i fell in love once, and it was both hilarious and heartbreaking. I’ve been pursued by others since, but I didn’t have that love-at-first-sight feeling that I was spoiled by the first time around and just wasn’t interested.

I was introduced to the son of my mother’s friend/coworker a few days ago. We have a lot in common, and are on similar wavelengths. We met two days before he left and we met up on both those days. The first day I was fine, the second day, my anxiety was getting to me.

I was nervous. Wondering things like… is he gonna put his arm around me? Or, are we supposed to be, like, making out at this point? lol. Well, none of that happened. And towards the end of the night we both loosened up and goofed off a little. Almost like both of us were relieved it was over. Weird. O_O

It was nice to go out with someone and just talk about stuff and they kinda understand where you’re coming from. It was neat and it made me feel good and happy and human.

But that’s another one of my goals for lucky ’13. Being less shy and anxious in intimate settings. Or, accepting that I get shy and anxious in intimate settings. Maybe that’s a better way to put it?

And I’ve paid for my driver’s lessons…now just waiting to schedule the days! Cool. 🙂

One thing I’ve learned is…it’s always good to do things that scare you every once in awhile. It could be a little, baby goal. Or a big, public display. Just take a chance…and be proud of yourself for trying to do better. Anxiety has stopped me before, but I really am working on not letting it stop me from doing things now. We’re all works in progress.

life doesn’t just happen.

one of the things i’ve learned over the years is that life doesn’t just happen. you have to do the work and take the action to get to where you’d like to be.

new year’s resolutions is only a corny tradition if you’re not sincere and committed to it. and i am so sincere about what i’m about to say. and i’m committed to it because it’s important.

i’m getting my driver’s license in 2013. i have tried for years and i couldn’t do it because i was so nervous behind the wheel. and i’m nervous now. it’s okay to be nervous, scared — this is a scary goal for me (lol…what isn’t scary though?), but i wanna do it anyway because i have to. i’m 23 dang it. i’m committed to doing this because it is a step toward independence and i can do it. just because i have people who can take me places and available public transportation doesn’t mean that i don’t have to learn how to drive. public transportation and gracious family members are enablers in my mind. i have the ability to do this myself. if i sound intense, it’s because i am an intense person. lol.

so pray for me as i work towards reaching this goal. it’s very important.

remember: the strength of a muscle may depend on the confidence with which it is used. claire weekes, my favorite, said that. (^.^)

happy new year everyone!